The only thing wot rhymes with ‘Culture’ is ‘Vulture’. Fact.
This past week, I’ve attended the Wheeldon Company’s ‘Morphoses’ at Sadler’s Wells theatre, and gone to ‘Classic FM Live’ at the Royal Albert Hall.
The RAH is an amazing building. It’s a huge cauldron which becomes surprisingly intimate once the lights go down and the music begins. The concert program was varied without being overly long (i.e. I didn’t fall asleep), even our £5 seats afforded (sorry) us a good view, and there was a hot trumpet player wearing a very sexyful dress. What more could you ask for? Well, I had stashed a battenberg in my bag, and, even though I had forgotten any cutlery or crockery, eating it with our fingers during the interval made the whole thing feel like a rather grand picnic. Oh, and the music was pretty good too.
As good as the ballet was, I’m not sure if it’s my thing really. It was very well done. Very, er, contemporary. I didn’t do a very good job of following what was going on, and by the third act, I was falling asleep a little bit. Come on - it was dark.
I think my enjoyment may have been slightly tempered by the gentleman next to me, whose nasal passages whistled as if they contained an asthmatic field mouse for the entire performance. I did think about asking him to breathe through his mouth, but instead resorted to the time-honoured British tradition of huffing occasionally and giving him evils. Those ballet dudes have some tight buns though.
As far as culture goes, I’ve managed to scrape together either the funds (difficult) or the time (not so difficult) to go and see:
- Tate Britain - Stuffy.
- Tate Modern - Airy.
- Shakespeare’s Globe for ‘The Factory’s’ Hamlet - Funny.
- Avenue Q - Occasionally funny.
- Mamma Mia! - Gayest thing I’ve ever seen.
- and The Dark Knight at the BFI Imax - Twice.
That’s what I can remember anyway. I might have to go around Hampton Court Palace later on. Now that’ll be fun.
